Monster blog

"Biggy?"
"What?"
"Thanks for letting Theo move here. She makes me really happy"
"Sure do like those kisses, don't you."
"Gentleman do not talk...but yes I do. They tickle."
"No problem"

Boys and girls. It seems that boy monsters and girl monsters have some differences.

The fangs. All monsters have smaller teeth like molars and such. Almost what some would call milk teeth. But for a monster they are not worth even thinking about. The only real teeth worth anything are their fangs. Now guy monsters have six in total. Three on top and three on the bottom. Why six? No idea. The girl monsters have four. I know this because Theo only has four and a call to Doc Wilson verified that four was the correct number for her. Again why? No idea. It is just how they are.

Now even their claws are slightly different. Monsa hands claws are about as twice as wide as Theo's, but not as sharp on the tip. Theo's are sharper then my best knife. I know because one day when she grabbed a piece of chocolate from my dessert plate I grabbed her. Well as any monster would she started to defend "her" chocolate. That was painful to say the least, but I did get it back. Not sure if it was worth the punctures, but it was mine.

Now the main thing is chocolate. Doc Wilson, and David all agree that monster hands are born with an insatiable desire to eat and horde chocolate. That can be used to an advantage. While they will work to make some money to have me buy them chocolate, they will work twice as hard for the chocolate.

Metabolism. Wow. I found out their bodies have some strange things going on in it. When Elizabeth shaved Monsa hand for entering the shower with her his hair grew back in seconds with a little rogaine. I also found that medicine is super fast in them. Once Theo had a headache and I offered her a childrens asperin. She took three licks from it to see if it was good and wham! The headache was gone.

Breakfast is another example. They will eat it all in a hurry, and yet by the time I finish they have unplumped, and are asking for more. I truely envy them for that ability. They will be chubby one second and burn it off in just minutes.

So the monsters, for me, are a learning experiance. I think overall I am doing a good job as a dad to them, but figuring out what is going on with them is half the battle.

But I would not exchange it for anything.

Breakfast is an ritual every morning. It normally goes like this.

I grab some eggs to scramble some for all of us. Theo or Monsa hand, whomever is closest, reminds me to get the chocolate syrup for their portion. Even if I have it in my hand they remind me. I then scramble up a batch of eggs and start two pans on the stove. Two eggs in one for them, and 6 eggs in the other for Elizabeth and I.

They then watch carefully to make sure I do not short change them in the syrup department.
"More! More!..Just a little more. Ok!" It is like a line from a script the recite every morning. My wife just reminds me not to burn ours while I deal with theirs. One time and she never lets me live it down. That and the time I added bleach to a load of laundry. She has a long memory.

I then take the plates to the table loaded with eggs and toast. By the time I get to the fridge and pour some milk for us and return their chocolate eggs are gone. They then just lay there like bloated ticks with bloated bellies. A look of chocolate nirvana on their faces. Bellies full of the eggy-chocolaty goodness I prepared.
By the time my wife and I finish they are ready for more and remind me, over and over.

I then counter-remind them that I never cook them extra eggs so why do they keep asking.
"Because one day you might". Then they scurry off to do whatever they do while I am at work.
Every day the same small circus occurs in our kitchen. Like a well practice play. They know their lines and I know mine.